I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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