i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
