Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
