Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
