he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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