Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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