I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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