I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
