If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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