3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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