He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
