found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
