Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
