I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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