u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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