It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize