he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
