he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This house was built for laser tag.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
