We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
