I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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