Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
