jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
