it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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