It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
