Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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