Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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