Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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