I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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