just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
