My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Floor bacon is actually really good
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
