You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
