I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
