She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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