Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
