well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
