My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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