I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
