I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
