OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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