It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
