So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
