Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
