so that wasnt chicken after all
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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