Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
