So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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