You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
