My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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