look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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