doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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