Me too!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
